Sunday, May 27, 2012

Forever Alone...

It’s been another 6 months since we have seen the Brown Bandit. I’ve heard rumors from different staff members that the Bandit has been caught. Within the next month I will conduct interviews with the security staff and housekeeping staff to gather more information and possibly more pictures. The rumors have suggested that there were many more attacks that were not documented in this blog.

While surfing the popular website I came across this photo:

While the Brown Bandit may be gone forever, others like him are still around. This picture gives me hope that this blog may still exist, even without the Bandit.
All poop pictures can be emailed to

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Back In Brown

The Brown Bandit has again graced us with his presence. In fact, he has visited us three times since I last updated the blog. He may have taken a seven month break, but he is making up for it now. His shits are bigger, badder, and more frequent. I’ve been following the Bandit for nearly a year now and I must say, I’ve never seen anything quite like what he has been leaving us lately. These dumps are monstrous! As much as I enjoy updating this blog, I feel the Bandit must be brought to justice. I have been working hard to devise a plan to capture this shit master. My first plan was to booby trap the bathroom, but that plan had a few flaws. My next plan was to create a sign to place on the bathroom door, enticing the Bandit to come to a specific location where I would be waiting with a net and a bat…possibly a taser gun. However, this plan had some error. So for now I’m still thinking of a master plan. I may end up having to go to upper management to convince them to allow me to place a tiny webcam inside the bathroom, which I would volunteer to monitor at all times. If you have an suggestions, please feel free to leave them in the comments. 
Rough draft of my sign


12/19/11 Stool is looking large and solid

1/8/12 Now this is a monster! Not sure why he covered the main masterpiece with toilet paper, but I'm pretty sure that beast was packed in and not dumped on site.

1/8/12 This little tater blobs were fresh.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Shit Demon

This second attack took place on 12/10/11. This fecal assault was defiantly the work of the Bandit. It seems the Bandit went into some sort of hibernation over the summer. Maybe the Bandit is indeed a homeless person who spends summer days outside and heads indoors once the weather starts to turn. Either way, I have mixed emotions about our culprit. On one hand, it makes for great entertainment and gives me a reason to keep a blog. On the other, our poor custodial staff is left with the horrendous duty of cleaning the mess up. I can only hope that when the Bandit is caught, I am there to take pictures and plaster his face all over the web. 
This is by far the healthiest looking BM the Bandit has deposited in a while. Looks like he has been eating some fiber, and a lot of it.

It is hard to tell from this picture, but there is urine all over the floor. Typically the Bandit has only left meadow muffins behind, but today he pissed all over the place. As you can see there is also urine in the urinal, which is also unusual.

If the Brown Bandit ever makes national news I will sell them this picture.

Mr. Hanky? Is that you?

After a six month absence the infamous Brown Bandit has struck again! The culprit made a possible reappearance in the first week of December. However, this attack is questionable; this looks more like a case of explosive diarrhea than the work of the Brown Bandit.  Although the toilet paper scattered around the toilet is a classic Brown Bandit signature.  

Monday, May 2, 2011

Osama Bin Poopin

The events of  May 1st 2011, namely the death of Osama Bin Laden, have proven conclusively that the Brown Bandit is not the above named terrorist despite heavy suspicion among employees. Our last incident, laying to rest hopeful rumor that the perpetrator was apprehended, was only last week. Obviously not enough time for the late Mr. Bin Laden to poop and scoot all the way back to Pakistan.

Some may take comfort in the fact that our filthy criminal is not Osama. What they obviously do not realize is that in one way this may bolster the self opinion of our fecal maniac in that he has now avoided capture longer than the infamous Bin Laden. Will the incidents of shit related crime escalate? It is probable. Another possibility is that Bin Laden was the leader of a band of radical stool mongers, the pimp of a posse of pooers of ill repute. Will the surviving factions wreak (or reek if you'd rather) vengeance on us with renewed vigor? Or possibly fling poop at each other like monkeys? It remains to be seen...

Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Midnight Soiler Has Returned

It has been four weeks since we have been blessed with a visit from the Brown Bandit. Many of us were starting to wonder if he had finally been caught, or perhaps decided to leave our bathrooms alone. Many rumor have surfaced surrounding the disappearance. We have heard from one source that two homeless men are responsible for the atrocious behavior. Others say it could be an employee who knows the area. Certain staff members were talked to about the issue right before the four week dry spell. Regardless, much to our surprise the Bandit has struck again! This might be one of the most extreme cases of fecal vandalism I have ever seen.  
In this image you can see a possible footprint

True to the Bandits nature, toilet paper is tossed around the bathroom. As usual, the actual stool pile is behind the door.

This attack only furthers my suspicion that the Bandit is packing in his poo. This is an unbelievable about of shit to come from one sitting. Plus, I cannot imagine the splatter coming from someone in a squatting position. In conclusion, just as we thought the case of the Brown Bandit was going cold he raises from the dead with vengeance!